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Sunday, July 8, 2012

Brothers and Sisters


I come from a close family. It has always been this way.

My parents left town for the weekend and my husband and I have been watching their dog. Last night my brother and sister-in-law came over for a BBQ (nothing out of the ordinary for us). At one point in the evening, we were sitting in my parents' livingroom discussing food preparation for a camping trip we're scheduled to take next week, when the conversation changed shape. We started talking about having children (not always the most comfortable subject for me, but somehow easier these days) and my brother said something about how he would find it hilarious if Shannon and I were pregnant at the same time. We talked about my parents' new house, the house they are in the process of building, and how we will spend time together there, and how our children will have the priviledge of knowing our parents, and how they will grow up playing with each other (as close as siblings, my brother said). And then I got hit by a sack of bricks with the recognition that my brother and sister are among the people my husband and I will spend the rest of our lives with, and we will share many evenings like this one, where nothing monumental will happen, but we will eat and drink and sit on the floor, and we will live in different houses and there will be babies and children, but our fragile lives will move forward, together, as quick as the days that have passed since our weddings.

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Sunday, July 1, 2012

For Dreamers







I thought I knew all the tricks in Wes Anderson's book. From explosions of classical music to the like-candy-from-when-you-were-a-child colors, from the placement of wacky props in just the right places that simultaneously feel like a private joke and manage to make each frame a miniature masterpiece, from the child geniuses that speak like no child you've ever met, from the inevitable slew of fragile creatures wearing pajama sets and immaculate bathrobes, uniforms, lots of uniforms, weathered fur coats, preppy plaid sweater vests and pointed collars, little stocking caps too small for their heads and custom-made suits from another time and place; Anderson's world is recognizable to all who love him, not to mention the fact that he can't seem to escape the thematic thread of familial abandonment (absent fathers, domineering mothers, infidelity, divorce, death), and his writing is so good that his signature dialogue is dry as a bone and makes you squirm and laugh and sometimes pee your pants a little.

But this new movie, this Moonrise Kingdom, has a surprising way of getting under your skin.

Here we have all of the signature pieces, including, as my husband noted, each and every frame of film somehow completely perfect and more beautiful than ever, and the product emerges as a more mature and evolved Anderson, unabashedly exploring the adventure that is first love. There is an innocence to his young protagonists that is so charming you sort of want to die, an endearing innocence different from the more worldly characters in his previous films, a concise meditation on youth, and there lies a universal truth at the heart of this film that, as a grownup, you just want to sit there and go back to when you were twelve and had a crush on the boy who lived down the road. Moonrise Kingdom is putty for us dreamers. And if you're willing to go there, you won't want to come back. 



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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Happy Father's Day




I think parenting is an impossible job. Not having children of my own, I can't imagine the responsibility it carries, and in my particular case, the living up to the familial lineage of love that has come before me from the Mullica side and Pries side, and now the Sturgill side and the Campbell side, and the time and sacrifice and patience it requires every day from the very first. It seems the most important key is time. I don't know of a perfect human being in history, but all any kid wants is a parent who wants to be with them. It seems the deepest longing of the human heart is to be known.

I can't think of a time in my life when my father hasn't pursued time with me. Most recently, in these past five or six years, it's been the mutual pursuit of the breakfast date. I feel privileged as an adult to hear my father ask for my opinion, or share with me something profound that he has experienced, or something small, or anything at all, and tell me I am among his friends.

But there were so many other moments, thousands of early moments, where he read to me before I went to sleep, where we danced together in the living room listening to Tower of Power. He taught me how to play card games like Spite and Malice, and board games like Scrabble. He made me fall in love with day trips and Sunday drives, although I could never share his love for eagles and mountains. If I have the tiniest bit of him in me, the way he hated ATM's for the longest time and didn't want to use them because they took away from human interaction, the way he has always been able to both tell a good story and listen to someone else's story (whether it be good or not), the way his time is never his own but instead an extension to others, if any of these small things that make up Randy Pries could ever begin to take root in me, I would hug everyone I know and never be able to contain my gratitude. Sometimes I feel like I want to keep him to myself like a secret, and in other moments I feel guilty to have him so present and invested in my life, like I am hogging his goodness from the rest of world and all of humanity would benefit from him being scattered around. There are days when I just can't believe I know him. Then again, he's always been there. 



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Monday, June 11, 2012

On Seeing Dionne Warwick




I was the youngest and my mother was the second youngest. Dionne Warwick was playing on a Saturday night at the Swinomish Casino in Anacortes in a room the size of a large conference room. Until about ten minutes before the show, we weren't sure the room would fill up at all. The man sitting beside my mother was already asleep. I was wearing the mint green cropped fur coat I had purchased two years ago for my wedding. The four esteemed male musicians who made up Dionne Warwick's band gathered on the stage in their tuxedos. They started playing the intro to Walk On By.

Would she come up the dark stairs on the side of the stage, or would she appear from behind the curtain? She came up the dark stairs, in her stiletto heels and super luxurious slate grey wide-legged satin pants, her black and white wrap swirling around the stage, flowing behind her, then in front of her, her hair pure white and her teeth just as white, and her cheekbones, oh her cheekbones, were so beautiful that my mother needed to pull a pair of opera glasses from her purse to ensure they were actually quite that sculpted, and to ensure Dionne Warwick's skin was actually as young (it couldn't be) and soft as it seemed.

My mother commented later that evening that it was hard for her to believe her daughter was at a Dionne Warwick show, and even harder to believe that her daughter knew all the words to the songs. She said hearing Dionne Warwick reminded her of where she was living and what she had experienced when the songs were first released in the 1960's, when she had seen performances on television, and when her own mother, my grandmother, had loved both Dionne Warwick and Burt Bacharach, the man who wrote much of her music. My own identification with Dionne Warwick's music came during years in college when I lived alone and gravitated toward powerful women vocalists like Barbra Streisand and Dionne Warwick and Carole King and Joni Mitchell and realized that I wanted a man and didn't need a man at the same time.

Seeing Dionne Warwick on stage was like going to summer camp, or having a spiritual experience, or knowing someone you love is about to move away. It was knowing the experience would never happen again, at least not like that, and when you're there and it's actually happening, you wish you could stay in that room a little bit longer. At some point in the show, somewhere in the middle, the lights went dark and Dionne Warwick started singing Alfie, and everyone applauded like it was what they had been waiting for, such a sad song, and when she sang it you could feel every bit of its sadness, and when I looked over my mother was crying, and we were sitting there in that casino, my mother and I, with this woman who talked about what she had learned from Sammy Davis, Jr., because she was from the time of Sammy Davis Jr., because she was Dionne Warwick, and I suddenly missed my grandmother, and the sun that shone on the carpeting when I heard Anyone Who Had a Heart for the first time, and I knew I could never explain it to anyone.






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Saturday, June 2, 2012

Inspiration

Perhaps it comes with the beginnings of June, but suddenly inspiration abounds. Last weekend, the Salvation Army was selling classical vinyls for ten cents a pop, and my time at home (while cleaning and reading and drinking red wine in the evenings) is now set to Giovanni Battista Pergolesi's Bach compositions. Kate Moss is on the cover of Harper's Bazaar wearing brick red nail polish, so I recently ran to Rite Aid for the L'Oreal version. I have been stealing flowers from my neighbor's trees and putting them in little vases. I have been reading Harold Brodkey's final work, This Wild Darkness, and while the book is a memoir covering the story of his death, the heightened awareness of every breath and motion documented in the account of his last days has quickened my own pulse. My husband has been making Amazon orders and ripping through books faster than anything I have ever seen. We saw a show at Western (the college campus) two weeks ago, and everyone in attendance was a good decade younger than us and our eyes could hardly handle the rushes of color and brave fashion choices made by these kids (not all good, but certainly brave) and the throwing of caution to the wind in their loud dress reminded me that there is something to the power of expression and I don't have to fit any mold (ever).

My best friend was in my living room last week and saw my copy of Life Magazine, 1967 with Mia Farrow on the cover (shortly after her marriage to Frank Sinatra) and said, "Can I cut your hair like that right now?" Of course you can.

I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of (my favorite) Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom (come on Bellingham, get with the program), where I am sure to find more visual inspiration than I can contain, but until then, it's important to note that there are still ugly things happening in the world, which must be avoided at all costs, Lord help us all:





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Sunday, April 22, 2012

Edie


I am currently reading a biography on Edie Sedgwick, which in one sense is sort of like inhaling junk food. The biography, first published in 1982 by Jean Stein, includes a world of photos of the Sedgwick family and The Factory and Andy Warhol, and when you're as obsessed with the 1960's as I am, it's like I can't devour it fast enough.

There is one photo of Edie at nineteen, lying on her back on a big white bed, kicking her lovely legs in the air, her head sinking into a pillow and turned at just the right angle toward the camera, her eyes scrunched closed and her smile famously dimpled. The bed knobs are spindly and glorious, like they were made of cherry wood (something like the furniture my grandparents had in their house in California) and the wallpaper a whimsical spiral pattern, like perfect sunbeams bursting all around this gorgeous girl. I looked at the photo and thought, dear gosh, she must have been so happy, and then I noticed the description for the photo and that it happened to be taken during her time in a mental institution.

As I continue to read about Edie's life, told as a sort of wonderfully disjointed oral history by family and friends, I feel like a voyeur sucking the substance out of this big juicy thing, not only the 1960's, but the heartbreaking story of a family who lost a daughter to an overdose at 29, one son to a motorcycle accident at 31, and another son to hanging himself from the bathroom door at 26. I sort of feel like I need to turn my face away from all of this, like I shouldn't be allowed to read something so personal, because it is becoming more and more horrifying. But I find myself reading on, not only for my interest in this creature who danced for Andy Warhol and defied the rules of fashion for the sake of fun during that magical window of time in New York in the 1960's, but because I need to make sure this family is going to be OK, and even though I know they won't be, I feel like maybe things could end differently this time around, if I could only love them hard enough.


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Sunday, April 15, 2012

Whatever Happened to Zooey Deschanel?


I saw Zooey Deschanel on the cover of Marie Claire, with her long dark shag of a bangs-in-your-eyes haircut (that I've frankly seen too much of everywhere lately) and her signature cute-as-a-button smile and, most of all, the promise that she'll share with you exactly how she lost 30 pounds. Because she really needed to.

When She & Him released their first album back in 2008, I was all about Zooey Deschanel. There was something very real about her, very understated, very fashionable. She was wearing things we hadn't seen before, or at least things we hadn't seen in awhile (lots of flowery vintage-inspired frocks) and there was something sweet about her demeanor that seemed very anti-Hollywood. She was quirky, yes, but it was almost as if she didn't know it... back then.

Nowadays, Zooey Deschanel talks about exactly how quirky she is all the time, and even appears on SNL spoofing her quirkiness (which would normally equal self-deprecation, which I'd normally find endearing, but in this case it seemed a bit too, "I'm SO cute!"). And here's my biggest complaint: she hasn't evolved in the last four years. An "It Girl" should teach us what we need to know over the course of time, don't you think? A good comparison is Chloe Sevigny. She's often defined as quirky, out there, uniquely individual, an Indie darling, yet she's grown over time and constantly blows us away by her ahead of the curve fashion sense, her bold to-go-where-no-woman-has-gone-before (yet we'd all like to follow her there) intuition. We keep our eye on Chloe Sevigny because she surprises us. Zooey, as a person, is a bit of a one trick pony, a one hit wonder, and while those can be fun to listen to sometimes, we're left with wondering what else they've got to share with the world. Here's the bottom line, folks: Zooey Deschanel's cutesy schtick, which has only gotten worse with her television show, New Girl, is simply reaching the end of its adorable little rope.


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